1.My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
2.His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
3.It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
4.I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
1.I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
2.got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
3.in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
4.I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
no subject
2. yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
3. I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
4. youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
5. Text him!
2
no subject
4
>dumbass
no subject
no subject
> I just didn't get caught
> :)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
2. His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
3. It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
4. I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
5. Text him!
no subject
2. somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
3. you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
4. Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
5. Text him!
1
[You're killign Delta here.]
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
3.
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
4.
no subject
no subject
2. Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
3. So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
4. Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
5. Text him!
3
wow so I lied to an officer of the law then. not that it'd be the first time
Re: 3
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1;
Re: 1;
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
2. got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
3. in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
4. I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
5. Text him!
3
no subject
I hope you're amused North though
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
2. Do you understand how much easier life would be if fanny packs were normal
3. Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Wash" day.
4. I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
5. Text him!
3
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
2. i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
3. You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
4. blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
5. Text him!